The Bounce Back

Everyone loves to talk about the “bounce back” post baby’s arrival. In the midst of trying to keep another human alive as well as yourself, in the middle of diaper changes, feedings, spit up, sleep deprivation, and raging hormones, the urge to “bounce back” can be one of the most dangerous narratives that any mother can be fed. What is she bouncing back to? A body that had not yet carried, sustained, or birthed other humans? A body that had not yet leaked blood, milk and tears? A body that had not yet seen itself in the mirror post birth? A body that had not yet given up their own for the sake of another? Once a body goes through the journey of pregnancy, birth, and motherhood that body cannot bounce back to life before; it is impossible to bounce back to a body that had not yet been re-born.

Society is so quick to tell moms to bounce back to their pre baby weight and honestly easier said than done and for some moms, it never happens. With all of the outside noise, sometimes mamas forget that their bodies did the most amazing thing – sustained, grew, and brought a whole entire human being into the world; let me know what can top that…NOTHING!

Once a woman has gone through this re-birth there is no going back because the pre-child would never be able to level up to the woman she is now, the woman that has given life, held another, sacrificed more than just herself for another. The woman before the woman she is today was not ready to meet the challenges that she has met and has yet to meet as a mother; a destruction and re-rooting and re-planting had to occur. The woman she is today has met herself in many a dark places and has had to get to know thyself over again.

Children change a woman. Children change a woman in ways that are not understood until and if you have them. Children force a woman to come face-to-face with herself, almost on a daily basis. Children bring out the best and worst in a woman. Children won’t allow a woman to bounce back.

If a mother were to “bounce back”, she would undo all that she has done to arrive at where she is today; a changed woman.