Who Was I Before I Became Everyone’s Everything?

Before the schedules, the snacks, the reminders, the appointments…I was a person first.

Before everyone needed something from me,
I had thoughts that weren’t interrupted.

I had interests that didn’t always come second.
I had space to wonder about myself
without immediately being pulled in twelve different directions.

And sometimes I catch myself wondering about her.

Not in a sad way.
Not in a “I want my old life back” kind of way.

Just in a quiet, noticing kind of way.

Who was I before I became the one everyone depends on?

Before I was the default parent.
The planner.
The finder of lost things.
The rememberer of everything.

Because somewhere between loving my family
and showing up for everyone I care about…parts of me got quieter.

Not gone.
Just… quieter.

The version of me that used to do things
just because I wanted to.

The version of me that wasn’t always calculating what everyone else needed first.

And maybe this is part of it too.

Not losing myself but learning how easy it is to put myself on pause.

Because being needed is a privilege.

But being everything to everyone
can also make you forget you were someone before all of this too.

So lately, I’ve been asking myself different questions.

Not “How do I get my old self back?”

But…What parts of me still matter
outside of what I do for everyone else?

What still feels like mine?

Maybe finding myself again isn’t about becoming someone new.

Maybe it’s about remembering who I was before I became everyone’s everything.