She’s Still In There

She’s more than the numbers on the scale. She’s worthy. She’s someone’s whole world. She’s enough as she is.

Why has society taught us that a woman’s worth is based on her looks, which often times equates to numbers on a scale. That mindset is so dangerous and has poisoned too many minds. A woman’s body has intricate parts and complexities that not even she will fully uncover in this lifetime. A woman’s body is more than numbers on a scale. Women come in every size, shape, and color and to force any woman into a box that was never made for her is dangerous.

Society has sold us a dream of pregnancy, birth, and drop every single pound gained during quite a challenging time for a woman’s body. Mothers take care of their babies while also learning how to take care of themselves and every day looks different but has equal parts joy and chaos.

Merely suggesting a woman “bounce back” is extremely insensitive and hurtful. The “bounce back” is erasing all of the things she has accomplished; why would she want to go back to how she was pre kids? A woman is reborn when she enters the trenches of motherhood and it’s a lifelong journey to discover who she is outside of motherhood while trying to fit all those pieces together.

Motherhood is the hardest, most rewarding job I have ever done and will do. There are some days I reminisce on the days pre kids and remember how lovely and care free those days were but for me, I couldn’t imagine being in the mindset I was then AND being a mother, I fear that would be a recipe for disaster. I grew up when I had kids, even though I was a full grown woman when I had them (32 & 35) but there were plenty parts of me that had not yet been developed until I gave birth and began mothering. The lessons I have learned in motherhood cannot be learned else where and for that, I am humbled.

I still struggle with my post babies body but I am trying my hardest to love the parts of my body that developed because of my babies. I will never have the same body I did in my 20s or even right before I had my first child and I don’t have a desire to. Pre kid body did not have stretch marks from carrying both of my children well past full term, bigger boobs from both pregnancies (yes I DO love this!), wider hips from growing my beautiful babies, and other lovely additions that were acquired due to my entry into the motherhood club.

I know that one day I will embrace the body that carried, nourished, and birthed two whole humans. Right now I am funding out who I am on the journey.